AI & Your Child

Tough Talks · about 6 minutes to read or listen

When AI is part of your child’s world

Your child may already be talking to AI. It shows up in homework apps, search results, phones, games, and chat tools like ChatGPT. A national survey found that 7 in 10 teens had used it, but only about a third of their parents knew.

That gap doesn't mean anyone's a bad parent. AI arrived fast, and most schools haven't explained it to families. You don't need to be a tech expert to guide your child. You need to stay curious, ask questions, and set a few clear rules together.

AI isn't going anywhere. You don't have to be afraid of it, and you don't have to hand it over with no limits either. Help your child use it well, and make sure the big things still come to you, not to a chatbot.

What you might notice

• Homework that suddenly sounds polished, but your child can't explain it
• Talking about a chatbot like a friend, or chatting with it late at night
• Asking AI about feelings, health, or relationships instead of people
• Sharing photos, their school’s name, or family details with an app
• Trusting an AI answer without checking it
• Getting upset or anxious when they can't use it

One sign on its own is usually normal. Look for patterns, and ask before you assume.

Before you talk

• Try one AI tool yourself first, so you know what your child sees.
• Ask your child's school what its rules are for using AI on homework.
• Decide what you're comfortable with, but plan to make the rules together.
• Pick a relaxed moment, like a drive or cooking dinner, not right after a bad grade.

Things you can say

• Can you show me how you use AI? I want to learn it too.
• What do you think AI is good at, and what does it get wrong?
• If AI writes it for you, your brain doesn't get the workout. Let's use it to explain, not to answer.
• Let's check that answer together. Where else could we look?
• Never share your full name, school, address, or photos with an AI app.
• AI can be fun to talk to, but it isn't a friend and it doesn't really know you. If something is bothering you, I want to hear it.
• Let's write our family AI agreement together, with rules for me too.

What to avoid

• Banning all AI. They'll likely use it anyway, just without you.
• Assuming every good grade is cheating
• Letting AI replace your talks
• Reading their chats in secret
• Treating AI answers as facts. It gets things wrong, sometimes very confidently.

If they open up, or shut down

If they open up and show you what they use, thank them and stay curious. Ask them to teach you something. Then fill out your family AI agreement together, and look at it again every few months as they grow.

If they shut down or get defensive, don't push. Tell them you're not trying to take anything away, you just want to understand. Try again another day, maybe by asking AI a silly question together and laughing at the answer.

If your child is using a chatbot for comfort, or talks about it like a close friend, gently ask more and keep the door open. If you're worried about how they're feeling, talk with their doctor or school counselor.

By age

• Ages 7–10: Use AI only with you, side by side. Explore it like a tool, and talk about how a computer can sound smart and still be wrong.
• Ages 11–13: Agree on when AI is okay for homework, like explaining a topic or quizzing them, and when it isn't. Use parental controls where you can, and keep devices in shared spaces.
• Ages 14–18: Move toward trust and self-management. Talk about privacy, fake photos and videos, academic honesty, and how AI is changing the jobs they care about.

Where to get more help

• Common Sense Media: AI ratings and research. Independent risk ratings of popular AI tools, plus research on how kids and teens use AI.
• ChatGPT parental controls. OpenAI's guide to linking your account to your teen's, setting quiet hours and turning off features like voice and image creation. Parents can't read their teen's chats.
• FTC: Protecting your child's privacy online. Your rights over what companies collect from children under 13.
• Your child's doctor or school counselor. If AI use seems tied to loneliness, anxiety or sleep problems.

Try it together: a one-week plan

If your family decides to use AI, this week helps your youth use it in a way that builds their thinking instead of replacing it. Do it once, then come back to it whenever new tools show up.

Ground rules for the week

• You run the AI. Most chatbots set a minimum age of 13, and many require parent permission until 18. Younger children watch and talk while you type.
• Never share personal details. No full names, school, address, photos, or passwords.
• AI can be wrong. The goal is a child who checks and questions, not one who copies.

What’s coming: a class for parents and youths, together

We’re building an “AI & Your Child” course, one piece at a time. The first three parts are already here:

1. The talk: this guide
2. The rules: the Family AI Agreement
3. The practice: the one-week plan above and three projects to do together

Part 4 will be a class that you and your youth take together. We haven’t written it yet, on purpose. We want it built around what real families are dealing with, so tell us what you’d want it to cover. Every answer is read by a person, and we’ll email you when the class is ready.

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How this guide was made: Bold180 prepared it with help from AI tools and checked it against the trusted sources listed above. Read and approved by Marilyn Feh, PhD, Bold180 founding partner. This is general information for parents, not medical, legal, or mental health advice. How we use AI

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